Perceptions of Male and Female Leaders (TED Talk)
For the past 10 years, I have wanted to give a TED talk. If you're in the speaking biz, as I am, it's a real feather in your cap -- an achievement to be proud of. However, it is not easy to do as thousands of people apply to speak at TEDx events around the world each year.
On May 18, 2023, I gave my first talk at TEDxUCIrvine!! The topic was "Debunking Bias: Perceptions of Male and Female Leaders". Given that I'm a lifelong drummer, I started off by getting the audience clapping, then played a short drum solo to their rhythmic beat (you can see my snare drum in the photo).
I then shared a story about biases I've experienced first-hand as a female drummer and how I've fought stereotypes all my life.
I heard, "She's just a girl, she can't be very good." I heard, "She's going to play too soft." And I heard, "She won't be able to get along with her male bandmates."
Now, none of those turned out to be true. They were based on biased perceptions of who I am as a female drummer. Biases cause us to misjudge and undervalue people’s talent and skills and significantly impact how we interact with each other.
Unfortunately, biases are powerful and can affect many current and aspiring leaders. Especially those in underrepresented groups, such as women, people of color, people with disability, and the LGBTQ community.
I shared stories of women I interviewed as part of my dissertation research. I gave them emotional intelligence (EQ) assessments and their results were on opposite sides of the spectrum. Shari is high in empathy while Lisa is high in confidence & assertiveness - and they both experienced bias.
Shari is viewed as lacking substance and intelligence. Even though Lisa freely & directly expresses herself, she’s perceived as aggressive by others. Why are these qualities considered negative for women?
Male leaders with the same behavior are perceived as decisive & competent. Women must walk fine line of being too nice and tooforceful - and are often viewed as either a bulldog or puppy dog — with little in between.
For women, it can be difficult to succeed as a leader because of gender bias. However, men experience stereotypes as well.
I’ve taught a “Women & Leadership” course for several years at UC Irvine business school. During the first week of class, we do a white board exercise where I ask the students to list their perceptions of male and female leaders. I have input from over 300 students, and their responses are eye-opening.
Here's a recap of some male leader perceptions:
Positive Perceptions – smart, strong, powerful, confident
Negative Perceptions – ruthless, egotistical, narcissistic, insincere
Gendered Perceptions – competitive, dominant, stoic
Here's a look at some female leader perceptions:
Positive Perceptions – smart, hardworking, honest, resourceful
Negative Perceptions – b*tch, bossy, calculating, aggressive
Gendered Perceptions – sexy, maternal, vulnerable
Notice the patterns based on gender, and that some qualities of female leaders focus more on female rather than leader, like “sexy” and “maternal.”
Think about where these perceptions come from, and how it impacts our attitudes, expectations & experiences of leaders.
As a society, we put pressure on male leaders to succeed, be confident, and not show emotions or be vulnerable. We put pressure on female leaders to be supportive, collaborative, and social. Even if they are NOT naturally that way.
I then shared a story about Sam, who is an exceptional male leader and exhibits a wide range of EQ skills.
The bottom line: The best leaders both USE and VALUE male and female strengths.
Bias—whether deliberate or unconscious—is holding us back in the workplace. It impacts our day-to-day work experiences and makes it harder for both men and women to be their authentic selves. So, what can we do?
Here are 3 suggestions:
1. Challenge personal biases you may hold – most people agree that biases exist…in others. Hold yourself accountable for learning, using intentional words & behaviors, and actively calling out bias when you see it.
2. Listen with the intent to learn - show empathy, ask questions, and let people show you who they really are.
3. Change how you envision a leader – why shouldn’t we expect our confident and decisive leaders to also be empathetic and inclusive? We need to defy and redefine what leadership can and should be.
Together, we CAN debunk bias. I'll be sure to share the official TED photos and video once I receive them. If you or your company are interested in these topics, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Best of luck to you,
Dr. Shawn
Want to learn more? Check out my website drshawnandrews.com or bestselling book, The Power of Perception: Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, and the Gender Divide
